That wish to be helpful?
Of course a good trait. Until it becomes an assumption on the part of others you’ll always say yes to requests for help. That taking on one extra task? Of course, why not. The busiest people are supposedly the ones to ask.
In my holistic practice, every client I met was stressed in one way or another. Holding too many threads in their lives and terrified to let any drop.
What if I say no? What will people do instead? How will they manage without my help?
During my training one of the questions we all asked ourselves on the course, was ‘why do I want to become a therapist’? To be useful, to help others deal with things more easily and effectively. Underneath those perfectly acceptable answers lay one we didn’t want to face but had to if we were to understand our motives.
To be needed. It’s a basic human trait and of itself a good one. But many of the seeds of our problems stem from that.
As a therapist yes it was great to think that I helped people. But no matter how long it takes each therapist to accept it, the fact is people will only change when they see the necessity. Watching them come back, time after time with the same issues, despite the advice which I knew could only make things better, I learned quickly that at best my care was palliative not long term change.
I could relate that to my issues over the patterns and habits I’d grown over the years, often for the best of reasons, as I'd seen it at the time. Now I had to chase the threads of where the patterns began. And why I might have wanted to hang on to them.