And it came after I'd read an article about self-doubt in a newsletter.
I've used the words sloshing and puddle because it's seemed as if the level of self-doubt has been rising and falling according to a tide of action and inertia.
Most people would describe me I think as hard working and self-motivated but I know that inside me lurks the beast called inertia.
You know when you sit with your back against a warm wall, face up towards the sun. The air is full of birdsong and it feels as if nothing matters. For the moment it doesn't. But life cracks on and demands that we take this action or that one.
In Roman legend Sisyphus was condemned to eternally push a rock up a hill. Overnight it rolled back and he started all over again. That's how inertia feels to me and it can come from too much sitting in the sun and not caring about anything.
It is inertia, but it's little friend self-doubt gets in on the act as well because for me the two go hand in hand. Because the inertia starts to creep across my skin like a fungus, self-doubt sets in to justify the inertia.
'What I'm doing isn't important and I'm not very good at anything anyway?'
That's followed by 'and nobody will notice if I stop'.
I enjoy a good wallow as much as the next person but I'm canny enough to know that none of those things are actually valid.
So how do we deal with it?
Standing for Take A Positive Step Soon.
Corny I know but it works.
I've learned that just one step is enough to break the pattern. Doesn't have to be to do with the work in hand. In fact sometimes it's much better if it's unrelated.
So the step might be a tiny treat like a cuppa somewhere different. Or a chocolate bar (always works for me), or the sight of something extraordinarily beautiful like a flower. Or a scream. (on the principle it's better out than inside your head like a worm)
Cheered up by a treat, then you can go back to taking another positive step - like writing a blog article to help others. Or finding something to pass on to them.
The original article I read talked about walking as something that helped but I sent a comment and used the analogy to remind us that progress is not always in the direction we want, but going in any direction, we can correct our course like the satnav. And that walking often is a mixture of uphill and plateaux and having both means you can appreciate both.